The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue has officially become irrelevant.

When I was a kid the most exciting time of the entire year was when some kid would steal his dad’s SI swimsuit issue and bring it in to school. Then we would all huddle around his locker and ogle pictures of Kathy Ireland, Vendela, and Elle McPhereson, in bikinis. We couldn’t believe that for one week a year a magazine would actually send a complete issue of scantily-clad women to subscribers’ houses.

Then I went off to college and discovered that a new innovation had been created. The “men’s magazine.” Not quite GQ or Details, not exactly Men’s Fitness, or Men’s Health, and just short of Playboy, and Penthouse. Of course I am referring to the fraternity house shitter reading that is Maxim, Stuff, FHM, Blender, and whatever other clones of these magazines that have been spawned since I began this post 1 ½ paragraphs ago. These magazines do exactly what the Swimsuit Issue does, except they do it every month. And they do it with girls we recognize from movies, TV, and music. In other words, SI takes women who wear nothing but swimsuits for a living, and compiles pictures of them in swimsuits, and makes a magazine issue out of it. Maxim and others take women that men have been mentally picturing in swimsuits and underwear, and print pictures of them swimsuits and underwear. Brilliant.

And you have to believe that SI sees the writing on the wall. Why else would they devote so much of their issues now on stuff like bodypaint,

Strategically placed mp3 players

and give the cover to a Golden Globe nominated, Grammy award winning recording artist and actress?

That being said, the women in this year’s Swimsuit Issue are still ridiculously hot, from cover girl Beyonce,

to Marissa Miller,

to Yesica Toscanini.

And props to SI for having a music theme to the issue, which meant pictures on-location in our native Cleveland, OH at the rock and roll hall of fame.

Hooray for irrelevant magazines!

Have a good weekend perverts!

Pitchers & Catchers Have Reported!

And not a minute too soon

Excuses are like Assholes, They all Stink!

schadenfreude \SHOD-n-froy-duh\, noun: A satisfaction obtained from the misfortunes of others.

The ESPN/USA Today college basketball coaches’ poll was released yesterday, and as you probably know by now it was distinct from every other ESPN/USA Today college basketball coaches’ poll because of one simple fact: it did not contain Duke.

Make no mistake, the Dukies are smack-dab in the middle of a dreaded “down year.” Duke has lost four consecutive games, including losses at unranked Virginia, and at home to unranked Florida State. And if not for some questionable clock operation on January 25th, Duke could have easily lost at home to Clemson, and would be staring at five losses in six games.

In light of these events, the Duke apologists have emerged out of the woodwork with excuse after excuse as to why they are struggling:

They don't have a scorer

This to me is the most puzzling of all excuses. Why don’t they have a so-called “scorer?” Coach K is a pretty accomplished guy, don’t you think he should have had the foresight to say, “Hmm, we are going to need to score to win games. I think we should recruit a scorer!” Its not as simple as “they don’t have a scorer” it’s the fact that they haven’t done well in recruiting, especially compared to teams like North Carolina.

They are too young.

Bullshit. Ohio State usually starts two freshmen, and a third freshman (Dequan Cook) is third on the team in minutes per game. They are #2 in the nation.

North Carolina’s top four players in terms of minutes per game are Tyler Handsbrough (sophomore), Brandon Wright (freshman), Wayne Ellington (freshman), and Ty Lawson (freshman). Sophomore Danny Green and freshman Deon Thompson also play significant minutes. They are #4 in the country.

Again it comes down to recruiting. Kevin Durant is a freshman and is probably going to win player of the year. He could have gone to Duke, but he didn’t. Greg Oden could have gone to Duke, but he didn’t. Wright, Ellington, and Lawson could have gone to Duke, but they didn’t. As a result of the new NBA age limit, every good team is “young” this year, but only Duke is using this as an excuse. Duke used to have a clear recruiting edge over everyone else in the country and it appears as if this edge is disappearing.

Greg Paulus is killing them.

Well, you have a point there.

The Dead Zone...

This week begins what we call the “dead zone.” You know, the time in between the Super Bowl and the college basketball conference tournaments. Every blogger and wannabe blogger rushes to the keyboard to chronicle this malaise the second the Super Bowl ends, so we will spare you our version of that spiel.

Instead, we will make a suggestion as to how you can pass the time until the first week in March. This is Kim Kardashian. We have no idea who she is, where she came from, what she has done to become famous, or what her general story is at all. All we know is that she is smoking hot, and according to the good folks at The Big Lead she will have an internet sex tape released in the coming weeks. We will be spending the “dead zone” anxiously awaiting this tape from Ms. Kardashian.

Besides that, we will be feigning interest in regular season college and pro basketball (cheering for the Cavs on Friday and Sunday and Kentucky on Saturday night!), while keeping one eye on baseball spring training (pitchers & catchers report in 5 days!). This sex tape can’t come out soon enough!



Have a good weekend!

Pitchers & Catchers Report in 8 days!

We can't wait!

We’re sorry…

We’re sorry, we have nothing to say following the Super Bowl. We suck at picking games. Congrats to the Colts. Congrats to Peyton Manning for winning the big one and winning the Super Bowl MVP (by default).

And that halftime show KICKED ASS!

No Respect I Tells Yah, No Respect!







Sources close to WCT inform us that the Super Bowl will be played this Sunday, and we have been breaking this game down all week. One thing is for certain, we are sick and F-ing tired of the Rex Bashers. He isn’t a bad quarterback, he is an inconsistent quarterback. He led the league in games with a QB rating under 40 (5), but he was also second in the league (7, incidentally, tied with Peyton Manning) in most games with a rating over 100. So statistically, he is more likely to be outstanding this Sunday than he is to be awful.

Lets take a closer look at those five “awful” games. We’ll give him a pass on the 0.0 rating he had in week 17. It was a meaningless game for the Bears (and as he said, “it was new year’s eve” after all. His mind was obviously elsewhere). The other four were a 10.2 in week 6 against the Cardinals on Monday night (win), a 36.8 in week 8 at the Dolphins (loss), a 23.2 in week 12 at New England (loss), and a 1.3 in week 13 against the Vikings (win). These were four horrible performances in a seven week span in the middle of the year, and the team was able to pick him up and go 2-2 in those games. After that week 13 stinker, when his team needed wins down the stretch for home-field advantage he responded with a week 14 rating of 114.4, a week 15 rating of 104.3, and a week 16 rating of 80.4. In those games he threw 5 TDs, 0 INTs and the Bears went 3-0.

Not only that, but he had more touchdowns, fewer interceptions, and a higher rating for the season that Brett Favre, and a higher rating for the postseason than one Peyton Manning.

Even though our Friday T n’ A is exclusively Colts cheerleaders (the Bears have no cheerleading squad) we feel as though it is Chicago that is getting no respect from Vegas. As soon as Marlon Jackson intercepted Tom Brady two Sundays ago, and we knew for certain what the match up would be, we came up with what we thought the spread should be, Colts -4. When we saw that it was 7, we immediately thought that Chicago was the bet. We have seen nothing over the last two weeks to dissuade us from this. So unless Brian Urlacher gets caught trying to pick up a $40 hooker the night before the game, we think that the smart money is on the Bears +7.

Happy Friday everyone. Enjoy your weekend, and enjoy the game.

The Only Question Now is: When Will She Get Her Own Column on si.com?





As we have seen in the past, it is extremely difficult to become a columnist on si.com. Their screening process is rigorous. Columnists must be true journalists.
We look forward to Ms. “fuck da eagles” being hired as a football columnist in time for next season. (maybe she can replace Peter King!)

(Update: the great blog with leather has more pics and a link to her whole Maxim spread)

Today, We Mourn a Champion

Barbaro

2003-2007

Friday T n' A!

Outstanding blogs we read regularly like kissing suzy kolber and the hater nation have taken to celebrating the end of the week by posting pictures of hot chicks on Fridays. Needless to say we here at WCT are whores who will do anything we can to promote this train-wreck of a blog we have, and have decided to steal this idea to increase readership.

This week we debut a new weekly segment, the Friday T n' A post! Each week we will post a picture of a hot chick, and each picture will have some topical significance to current events, or whatever is on our minds at the time.

* * * * *

Those of you who, like us, are fans of college basketball know that this Saturday College Gameday will be in Columbus, Ohio to preview Saturday night's game between the Bucks and the Michigan State Spartans.

During football season having College Gameday broadcasting from the banks of the Olentangy River is a normal occurrence, but having them in the winter is truly a special occasion.

In light of all this, this week's feature is ESPN sideline dime-piece Erin Andrews, who will be at Saturday night’s game. It warms our heart to know that EA will be visiting our home state this weekend, we only wish we were there to take a picture with her like this dork from Iowa.


Happy Friday everyone and go Buckeyes!

With eyes this big, you would think he would be able to catch

“Did that blow your mind? Because that just happened!”


We have never been happier to have been 0-2 for a football weekend.

With all due respect to the Chicago Bears, their game against the Saints was pretty anti-climactic and boring and so we will focus most of our attention on the storylines from the Patriots/Colts game.

The 21-3 lead.

When Asante Samuel picked Manning off in the second quarter and took it in for six, we thought that was it. We said to ourselves “how is this Patriots team going to possibly blow this lead? Is Indy going to even score a touchdown? (remember they didn’t score one the entire Ravens game) I can’t believe this is happening again!”

We actually thought at that point that this game was going to be a blowout. We thought that even if Indy got their offense going, they were completely incapable of stopping the Pats and therefore had no chance of making up an 18 point lead.

And then even before the half when the Colts drove down deep into New England territory, their drive stalled and they were forced to kick the field goal. We still thought the game was over at halftime because it was still 21-6 and looking pretty bleak for Indy.

And then even after they finally scored a touchdown to open the second half and pull within 21-13, they allowed a huge kickoff return and an immediate touchdown to extend the lead, which brings us to our next point.

Indy special teams were brutal.

Every time the Colts scored a touchdown and regained some momentum, the Pats were able to get a huge kickoff return and start drives with great field position. We said, more than once during the Colts’ comeback, that Indy was going to lose the game and their special teams coverage teams were going to be the reason why. The Pats routinely started drives around their 40 yard line, and were able to score easily several times because of their short fields.

Indy has now beaten the Patriots three times in a row

Including the regular season. Can we now stop talking about how much Belichick “owns” Peyton Manning?

The excuses have already started flying

The refs. The heat in the dome. The flu. The Pats were tired from having flown to and from San Diego.

Lets take these in order. In my opinion there was one bad call and it was the roughing the passer penalty on Indy’s final drive. (they have to do something about that rule) But the way the Pats defense looked at that time, the 15 yards actually helped New England. The Colts were going to put it in the end zone, it was just a matter of time. Putting the ball on the 11 yard line instead of the 22 (it was half the distance to the goal) meant that they would score quicker, giving the Pats the ball back quicker.

As for the heat? Tough shit. When you have home field advantage you can do what you want to control the conditions (like the Celtics did when they turned the heat up in the Boston Garden, or like the Patriots did when they let their grass grow and didn’t cover the field during the ’04 playoffs)

The flu? I don’t know, have some Echinacea in the week leading up to the game.

The cross-country flights? The Pats have no one to blame but themselves for this one. These two teams met during the regular season (in New England) and the Colts won. As a result, when they ended the season with identical records, the Colts were the #3 seed meaning that they would play Baltimore in the second week of the playoffs and the Pats were the #4 meaning that they had to go out to Cali and play the Chargers. If the Pats wanted to avoid that trip, they should have taken care of business in the regular season.

Bill Bellyache is still a classless dick

Way to completely snub Manning when he sought you out to shake hands after the game.

Championship Orgy!

It is our opinion that the super bowl is almost always a let-down. Consequently, this weekend provides us with probably the two best games of the entire season.

We are coming off of a piss-poor 1-3 showing in the divisional weekend, bringing us to 4-4 for the post season. That is well below our standards, so we will try to pick things up for championship weekend.

New Orleans at Chicago (-2)

This is a tough one. Does Sexy Rexy have two good games in a row in him? How will the Bears defense stop all of the weapons of the Saints offense? How will the Saints do in bad weather?

During the regular season the Saints were 7-1 on the road, including a blowout road win against a nose-diving Giants team. They have also been one of the hottest team in the league in the second half of the season. On the other side of the ball, the Bears defense, which carried them through the first half of the season, faltered down the stretch, giving up 27, 31, 21, 26 (meaningless week 17 game vs. the Pack), and 24 points in their last five outings? I really don’t like the way this game looks for the Bears, especially if you need Rexy to make a play in the 4th quarter. Granted, he made maybe the biggest throw of his career in overtime last week to set up the game winning field goal, but I’m betting against him being able to do it two weeks in a row. I’ll take the Saints and the 2 points.

New England at Indianapolis (-3)

This game is not really about the spread, because the Patriots will most assuredly beat the 3 point spread without breaking a sweat. This game is more about who will get the outright win.

Earlier in the week we chronicled the many reasons to hate the Patriots and their coach, Bill Belichick. So we will be cheering loudly for the A-Rod of the NFL: Peyton Manning. Unfortunately, we have a sneaking suspicion that A-Rod will once again come up small in a big spot and come 10pm on Sunday night we will be watching Tom Fucking Brady and the rest of the Patriots celebrating on another team’s logo. Again.

As Bob Knight would put it, its inevitable so we might as well sit back and enjoy it. Now you’ll excuse us, we have to go to celebrate the Indian’s signing Trot Nixon! Wooo!

Who to hate this weekend

The blogosphere is abuzz this week in anticipation of this Sunday’s AFC championship match-up. And everyone is asking the same thing who do we cheer for? And more importantly, who do we cheer against? Who do we hate more? Who will be more insufferable if they win?

We here at WCT will be cheering loudly against the Patriots. Let us count the reasons to hate them

Bill Belichick

First foremost, Bill Belichick is an intolerable dick. Belichick (or as he was known as Browns coach in the early ‘90s, “Bill Bellyache”) is hailed as some sort of football messiah by most members of ESPN to the point that you would think that he invented the sport. As Cleveland Browns fans, this makes us sick to our stomach.

When Bellyache was the coach of the Browns, to put it kindly, he sucked. He was consistently out coached, all of his players hated him, and he alienated the fanbase. In 1993 he became jealous of the fame and influence that Bernie Kosar had with the other players and the Cleveland fans, so he had Kosar cut after the seventh game. In the middle of a playoff run he cut his starting quarterback. Let us say that one more time -he not only benched his starting quarterback, but this asshole cut him outright in the middle of the season. Predictably, the 5-2 team fell apart down the stretch (as any team would after its best player is cut) and finished 7-9. As a result of these actions, the city turned on Bellyache, and when Kosar landed on his feet in Dallas, fans began coming to Browns games in Cowboys jerseys. The disconnect that Bellyache created between the team and the city grew, and at least in small part, contributed to the Browns moving Baltimore in 1995. Cleveland has not forgiven him for this.

Fast forward a few years, and shift the scene to New York. When Bill Parcells stepped down as Jets coached, and inexplicably tapped a then-undeserving Bellyache to take his spot as coach, how does Belly repay him? By sending a cryptic fax the next day containing the now immortal words “I resign as HC of the NYJ” and bolting for a better offer from the Patriots. The rest, sadly, is history.

Not only that, but he is a home-wrecker (but who could blame the woman? She is only human after all, how can she possibly resist the dashing good looks and casanova personality of one William Bellyache).


Tom Brady

No, we don’t hate him because he is likely banging Gisele.




We hate him because he went to Michigan and is a smug prick. He cries every time he is touched in the pocket, and he talks more trash after the whistle more than any other quarterback we know. Just ask Brian Urlacher.

Rodney Harrison

The Patriots have this reputation for representing everything that is right in the world, yet they have the dirtiest player in the NFL on their roster.

Junior Seau

I’m not retiring! I’m graduating! (to the Patriots)

Romeo Crennel

The branch of the Belichick tree we ended up with in Cleveland. He is 10-22 in two seasons as Browns coach. The gift that keeps on giving

Bill Belichick

We aren’t done with him! Can you believe this dick refused to call by name or even lower himself to shake hands with his protégé (and current HC of the NYJ) Eric Mangini after the latter beat him in the regular season? But after he blows the Jets out in the playoffs he is literally shoving cameramen out of his way to hug Mangini and raving about what a great job he has done with the Jets?

So there you have it. That is why we hate the Patriots. That is why we cheered against them last Sunday, that is why will be cheering against them this Sunday, and when they inevitably win, that is why we will be cheering against them in the Super Bowl.

Fuck da Eagles Indeed

Thank you. Wow, where do we begin?

We should start with our thoughts on this past weekend's games:

That Colts-Ravens piece of crap was almost unwatchable.

And of course we are very happy that the Colts won after the countless tear-jerking pieces that ESPN ran all week about how heartbroken Baltimore fans were when the Colts moved in 1984. Of course they ignored the fact that by being fans of the Ravens they were supporting a team that they stole from Cleveland. Karma is a bitch.

And isn't it interesting how a win can make us ignore the performance of one player? Take a look at the analysis of our favorite writer. He wrote about how much better Manning was than McNair in Saturday's game. Nevermind the fact that McNair had a better completion percentage, the same number of picks, more yards, and a better passer rating. Make no mistake, McNair was shitty, but Manning was shittier. He just benefitted from a better performance from his supporting cast.

Andy Reid punts away the game

Final minutes of the game, 4th and 10 and the Eagles are willing to go for it in an attempt to save thier season. However, when they get a false start penalty and are instead faced with 4th and 15 he punts the ball away. Of course then the Saints just run out the remaining minutes and the Eagles never touch the ball again. Mind-boggling. His season was on the line, he only had one timeout left and he punted? Why was he willing to go for it on 4th and 10 but suddenly 4th and 15 is unattainable?

Seattle was very lucky to get this far in the playoffs

And it showed, allowing Rexy to embarass their secondary for 282 passing yards.

Marty has to go

I know that everyone loves him, and the talking heads on ESPN Radio are doing everything but pleading for him not to be fired, but the way he mismanaged the end of the game last night was inexusable.

First there was the inexplicable challenge after the interception. To the surprise of no one, the call on the field was upheld and he lost a crucial timeout. Then he calls a timeout at the line of scrimmage coming out of a timeout. Thats two timeouts wasted. Think that his team could have used those timeouts in the final minutes as they lined up for a 54-yard field goal with 8 seconds left?

Stomping on a team's logo after a win is classless

We thought the University of Miami had a monopoly on this. We know you probably won't hear this anywhere else, because everyone else in the world thinks the Patriots represent everything that is right in the world, but they aren't. They are a smug team who talks as much trash and taunts their opponents as much as any team in the league. And when they lose their coach throws tantrums and refuses to give respectful handshakes to opposing coaches. Fuck the Patriots

They were Talking about Mickey Free. Mickey Free is not a Girl

Please join me in welcoming a new member to the club of time-wasters. In honor of Prince being named as the halftime entertainment for Super Bowl XLI, we welcome his basketball cohort Mickey Free. Mickey Free is not a girl.

San Diego Super-Chargers

I love Charger fans

Divisional Playoff Orgy!

This weekend is the best weekend on the pro football calendar as far as I’m concerned, and your boy WCT heads into the divisional weekend with huge momentum building from the past two weeks of picks. Last week I was 3-1, and the only one I got wrong, was the Giants-Eagles game, when I inexplicably decided to pick along with Peter King. I won’t make that mistake again this week.

On to the picks!

Indianapolis at Baltimore (-4)

No one ever went broke betting against Peyton Manning and Tony Dungy in the playoffs, but this one is really tough. I see this game being very close, but I think that the Ravens can cover the number. The Colts did well stopping Larry Johnson last week, but what are the chances they do that two weeks in a row? Steve McNair is exactly the quarterback that the Ravens have needed to get over the hump since the immortal Trent Dilfer was released. Not only that, but the Ravens D’ looks as good as it has looked since they won it all in 2000. I think that Ray-Ray knows that he is over the hill and this is probably his last chance to get another ring. Take the Ravens and lay the points

(just to be safe lets double-check with Peter, yep he picks Indy to beat the number. I’m taking the Ravens)

Philadelphia at New Orleans (-5.5)

Ok, last week I stuck with my late-season strategy and took the Eagles -7 and it cost me a perfect wild-card week. Not only that, but the Saints are my NFC super bowl pick, and I think the Jeff Garcia bubble is about to burst. The NFL screwed Philly by making them play a playoff game on a Saturday after winning on a Sunday. And not only are they playing after a short week, but they are playing a team that has been off for 13 days. The Saints have played very well at home this year, and after the home playoff drought that those fans have suffered through, the dome is going to be nuts on Saturday night. Take the Saints

Seattle at Chicago (-9)

Easiest one on the board by far. Take the Sexy Rexy and the Bears. Done

New England at San Diego (-4.5)

Anytime you can get the Patriots getting points against a (basically) rookie quarterback, and the second-worst playoff coach of all time, you take those points my friend. I think that the Super-Chargers might pull off the win, but it will be close.

Screw the World

Butch - "you ok?"

Marcellus - "nah....I'm pretty fuckin' far from 'ok' man"

-Pulp Fiction

Ok, so I'm usually a happy-go-lucky guy, but for obvious reasons (cough! 41-14) I'm not really in such a great mood. Consequently, I'm taking in out on a few of a growing number of douchebags that have come out of the woodwork in the last few weeks.

I've been wanting to get this off of my chest, so please indulge me.

Douchebag #1 - that assclown baseball writer from Chicago

Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I'm anal, but whenever there is a major award or honor given out, I like to read the fine print and see who got how many 1st place votes and 2nd place votes etc. When reading the fine print from this weeks baseball hall of fame inductions, I noticed a little footnote stating that there was a writer that turned in a blank ballot. (mind you, he didn't abstain from voting, he turned in his freaking ballot blank. More on this in a second) Now, I was almost ready to let this pass. Then I heard this self-righteous gas-bag on Mike & Mike and I almost threw my radio at a wall.

This guy says that he refuses to vote for anyone who played during the 1994-2005 period he called the steroid era. He said that he does not know who was using and who wasn't during that period so he didn't want to vote anyone in.

It gets better.

He said that if a year goes by and he learns more about the era, or if he doesn't hear about anyone else taking performance enhancers during that time then maybe he will start to vote for players from the "steroid era." In other words, it is incumbent upon all players from this era to prove to him that they didn't take steroids. Either that, or if nothing else comes out, he'll be convinced. Priceless.

It gets better.

He then went on to say that he knew that Tony Gwynn and Cal Ripken would be voted in anyway, and he wanted to make sure that they didn't get voted in unanimously. He felt that if guys like Ruth, Cobb, Gehrig, Aaron, and Mayes weren't unanimous, then no one should be.

Dickhead, if you don't want to vote, DON'T VOTE! But for you to go out of your way to send in a blank ballot tells me that you not only wanted to further your own agenda, but you wanted to call attention to yourself while doing so. (that is why I have refused to mention his name) And to all baseball writers who use the hall of fame election process as a method to preach from your own soapboxes about the "steroid era" and how players today don't compare to players of yesteryear, please, save it.

I cannot believe I just ranted about a Chicago-area sportswriter not named Jay Mariotti! I feel better already.

Douchebag #2 - That guy who voted Boise St. #1 in his final AP Ballot.

Ok, I see you working here. They were undefeated. They won a BCS game. But after watching that beat-down on Monday night, do you honestly think that they could stay on the field with Florida? The team that won by 1 touchdown or less against, Wyoming, Hawaii (at home), and San Jose Freaking State? They won by a field goal against a SJSU team with three WAC conference losses and you think that they are better then a Florida team that just dismatled the previously-undefeated Buckeyes?

Douchebag #3 - Bobby Petrino

You are a liar and a douche. You signed a 10 year contract (10 frigging years?) with Louisville last year and said that was "exactly where you wanted to be." Of course that was all after speaking to Auburn about its coaching postion. (even though your "friend" Tommy Tubberville held that job at the time) You will not last 3 years in Atlanta. Have fun with Mike Vick.

Douchebag # 4 - Chris Meyers

"Ok, I'll get out of the way now and let you propose to your girlfriend"

you are lucky Ian Johnson didn't punch you in the face.

Wild Card Orgy!

If you haven't noticed (and you probably haven't) I am on FIRE with my NFL picks. This is in stark contrast to my crapping the bed in my college bowl picks on awful announcing!, but that's another story for another day.

Without further Apu (zing!) here are my NFL Wild Card weekend picks. Lets keep the momentum going!

Kansas City at Indianapolis (-7)

First of all, let me say that these are definitely tough picks. I could see any of these eight teams winning this weekend. The Colts didn't lose at home all season, but I can't see them completely stopping Larry Johnson. When I come to a dillemma like this, I usually just see who Peter King picks, and go the other way. Petey has the Chiefs beating the spread, so I'll take the Colts and lay the touchdown.

Dallas at Seattle (-2.5)

This one looks pretty easy. The Cowboys come into this game on a slide, but so do the 'hawks. And Seattle played a soft schedule, in a weak division, and hasn't really beaten a legitamate opponent in weeks. Hell, they lost to the niners on a Thursday night with the division title on the line. Hasselbeck and Alexander have both missed time this year, and they have yet to get into rhythm this year. Take the 'boys and the points.

New York Jets at New England (-8.5)

Mangini vs. Belichek. I call it Stoic Bowl III. I can't stand the sight of the Patriots, so I really don't want to bet my reputation on them to cover. I really think they are going to beat the Jets, and I really think they are going to win comfortably, I just can't bring myself to lay that many points. The Pats rarely blow teams out, so I will reluctantly take the Jets and the points.

New York Giants at Philadelphia (-6.5)

This one seems like Eagles all the way. Petey-Pete has Philly covering, so I am really skittish, but I have been riding two things down the stretch this season: Betting for the Eagles, and betting against the Giants. Therefore this would be a double-whammy. Take the Eagles and lay the points. The Giants have been a train-wreck since week 8, and the party ends here.

Nick Saban is a Spectacular Douche

That's all for right now

Thank you Detroit!

Today the Detroit Lions front office decided that they had seen enough. They were embarassed and tired of losing, so they came to the conclusion that they needed to fire the man responsible.

Of course I am referring to defensive coordinator Donnie Henderson.

Thats right, neither Matt Millen, the man who has screwed up draft after draft and led the Lions to pro football's worst record since taking the job, nor whoever that douchebag assistant coach was who got liquored up and decided to drive to Wendy's without pants lost their jobs, but Donnie Henderson did.

As a fan of a team that isn't the Lions, I along with the rest of the NFL say thank you.

Football Orgy: Part Deux!

Santa has brought us all a sack full of great football matchups this weekend, and it is starting to feel like another Football Orgy. In light of that, here are my picks and previews! Judging by my performance during Football Orgy I this September, not to mention my horrible picks over at Awful Announcing!.

But anyway, on to the picks!

New Orleans at NY Giants (-3)

Let me let you in on a little-known fact. Although it may seem to the naked eye that the G-men have been keeping their heads above water recently, they have gone 3-5 since beating the Cowboys on Monday night. Those wins? they beat horrible Tampa Bay 17-3, they squeaked by Houston 14-10 at home, and they beat Carolina and Chris Weinkie, he of the 17 game losing streak. And I can tell you living in New York and watching this team, they have to be the most poorly coached, least disciplined team in the League. Take the Saints and the points.

(Side Note: Did you know that the three guys the Chargers got with the picks from the Eli Manning trade have now all made the pro bowl? You think the Giants would like Phil Rivers, Nate Kaeding, and Shawne Merriman for Eli today?)

New England at Jacksonville (-3)

The Pats getting 3 points against the Jags? This is what we in the biz call a lock my friends. Bet the house on New England. I don't believe in David Gerrard, and Tommy the Golden Boy is going to play with a chip on his shoulder after not making the pro bowl.

Cincinnatti at Denver (-3)

I really don't like what I have seen from either of these teams recently, but if give me Carson Palmer and points against a rookie QB, I say that sounds like a good bet.

Philadelphia at Dallas (-7)

Pay no attention to what the World Wide Leader tells you, THIS is the real Monday night game this week. This is going to be my WCT upset special. Think of it as my Christmas present to you the reader. Take the Eagles. I just have a feeling about them. I don't think they are going to win per se, but I think they can keep it within a touchdown. I think that Jeff Garcia is on a roll, and people are starting to figure out how to defend Tony Romo.

Down with the King!

Everyone else in the blogosphere has taken to the "mock some moron's column" column, so here is another attempt at that on my part. Every week I inexplicably read the drivel that SI.com allows Peter King to pollute the internet with, and everyweek I giggle to myself and mock his lack of knowledge, his inability to write interesting pieces, and his general incompetence. So I might as well bring this mocking straight to the blogoshepere.

Here is my analysis of King's latest masterpiece

For those of you that are new to King's brilliance, I will point out the things that appear ever yweek that make this gasbag so damned annoying.

Lets start with the section called "10 things I think I think." Actually, lets just start right there with the title. "10 things I think I think?" You don't know if you think them? I'm confused. Anyway, here goes:

1. I think these are my quick-hit thoughts of Week 15:

a. How much of a nut would you have thought I was if I'd told you in September that the biggest TV story down the stretch in the New York metropolitan area would be whether the cable giants in the area would carry the Rutgers bowl game? Weird, very weird, but true, with 70 percent of New Jersey not having the NFL Network on their home cable systems, and the new network telecasting the Rutgers-Kansas State Texas Bowl from Houston on Dec. 28.

The first thing you notice when you read Peter, is that he assumes that everything that happens and involves either New York, Boston, or Washington, DC is just that much more noteworthy than everything that happens everywhere else. If you live in, say Duluth, and you happen to have the misfortune of stumbling upon this column, what do you care that Rutgers fans won't be able to watch a meaningless bowl game?

b. If you somehow get a chance, read a transcript of Carl Banks' searing Q&A on Sirius NFL Radio with Mora about his death-wish comments regarding the University of Washington job. Ted Koppel might have done better, but I'm not sure.

c. Just wondering: Is John Abraham made of paper mache?

d. You need to read South Florida Sun-Sentinel columnist Dave Hyde's superb piece, a couple of weeks old now, on the seriously reclusive former Super Bowl MVP, Dolphin safety Jake Scott, now living in Hawaii. One of the best newspaper stories I've read in a long time.

Okay, so here is another thing that annoys me. Its "10" things, but each "thing" consists of like 15 sub-headings (sub-things?) and most of them are just random thoughts and non-sequitors, like:

e. The more I see of Maurice Jones-Drew, the more I think he's one of the best 10 backs in football.

f. The more I see of Cedric Houston, the more I think he's one of the top 30 backs in football. He's the best back the Jets employ.

First of all, most average fans new Mo-Jo Drew was a top tier back a month ago, so once again Petey isn't breaking any new ground there. And as for Houston, he is their featured back, so pointing out that he is the best back on the team isn't saying much at all. Furthermore, there are 32 teams in the league, so if you are a starting back on one of those teams, are you really in select company if you are one of the 30 best backs in the league??

g. Congratulations, Chad Pennington: 29 of 39 for 339 yards against the Vikes. That was one heck of a job against a good front seven in the Metrodome.

This is something he loves to do. For some reason, Peter is under the misconception that NFL players play their games on Sunday, and rush home to read his column. So he writes crap like this addressed directly to them.

i. The Bears have horseshoes in their shoes.

What does that even mean? Is it a good thing? Is it a bad thing? Help me out with this one.

Lets skip ahead.

4. I think this is what I liked about Week 15:

a. Rod Coleman is a really good football player. I'm not sure I'd take any three-down defensive tackle in football over him.

Its random proclamations like this that make him sound more like Larry King.

d. Trent Cole is going to be a good player for the Eagles for a long time. He's feisty, a little cheap-shotty, and the kind of guy every defensive coordinator would love to have.

What defensive coordinator wouldn't want a guy who is "a little cheap-shotty?" I never knew this was a good thing!

f. You know what I liked about the Redskins in the win at New Orleans? Everything.

You can't pay for in-depth analysis like that.

h. Ladell Betts, we have to give you the MVRP (Most Valuable Relief Pitcher).

Peter, you've lost me again. And there he goes again addressing players directly. Ladell Betts doesn't read your crap!

6. I think Terrell Owens deserves to be fined $25,000 and shunned, but not suspended, for spitting on DeAngelo Hall.

Shunned? Whoa! Slow down Peter! Are you sure you aren't being too hard on him?

Most overrated coverman in the NFL: DeAngelo Hall

If only D-Hall were more "cheap-shotty."

What a putrid Lion-Packer game. Both teams look years away.

Ok, I'm writing this down, you say that the Lions (2-12) and Packers (6-8) are years away? Ok, Ok I'm learning. What about this Raiders team? How close are they?

Gotta play better than that, Matt Leinart.

Ok, again, Matt Leinart is not reading this. And when you write directly to him it really annoys me. (see the irony there? I'm writing directly to Peter! nevermind, lets move on)

10. I think these are my non-football thoughts of the week

This is easily the most entertaining portion of the column, where Peter graces our computer screens with his thoughts on the Red Sox, coffee, his daughter's field hockey career, and anything else that you and I could not give a good goddam about.

I see Prince is set to sing at halftime of the Super Bowl. What, Bobby Vinton wasn't available?

Again, I have no idea what this means. Who the hell is Bobby Vinton? Is this reference lost on anyone else?

I've got to tell you, Joe Torre and Phil Simms selling the green tea makes it really easy for me to have a big mug of it every afternoon. Smart ad strategy, Bigelow.

What does this even mean? You drink green tea simply because Joe Torre and Phil Simms are paid to go on TV and endorse it? Are you really that gullable?

Steve Nash. Drew Brees

Peter King. Moron

g. The Daisuke Matsuzaka deal seems fair for both sides. The Red Sox pay $16.7 million a year for the best pitcher in free-agency (combining the fee to the Japanese team with the pitcher's salary). Good for them, in this crazy baseball economy. And Matsuzaka gets $8.5 million a year, knowing he's going to make millions more in endorsements (in two countries) if he's as good as he thinks he is. Re the $16.7 million a year ... Gil Meche got $11 mill. Barry Zito's going to get $16. Don't the scouts all think Matsuzaka's a can't-miss guy? Maybe not can't-miss ace, but at least can't-miss 15-game winner.

h. Bill Parcells to me after the Cowboys-Falcons game: "You must be pretty happy. You signed the Japanese pitcher.'' Well, uh, shucks, I don't deserve all the credit for the signing.

i. Sox rotation April 2-4-5 in Kansas City to open the season: Schilling, Beckett, Matsuzaka.

And there's money shot! Three, count 'em, THREE consecutive bullets about the goddam Red Sox. Those of you who may be fans of the other 29 major leage baseball teams, go screw yourselves!

First of all, you call Matsuzaka a "can't miss 15 win guy." Ok, lets look at the top 4 win totals from last years Sox rotation: 16, 15, 7, and 7. Now lets look at the top win totals from the American League last year shall we? 19, 19, 18, and 17. So if Matsuzaka is as you call him a "can't miss 15 win guy" in his first year in the majors, then not only would he be an ace, not only would he be the rookie of the year, but he would be a candidate for the Cy Young Award.

Second of all, the rotation against the Royals could be Larry, Curly, Moe, and they would do no worse than win 2 out of 3, so that last comments just worthless.

There you have it folks. The King at his finest. All you have ever wanted to know about green tea, the Red Sox, and random football opinions based on anything other than actual fact. And SI.com pays him for this.

Fat guy... Overrated quarterback...blah blah blah

Just Now coming down from November 18

Ok, so I'm sorry I have been ignoring this blog, but I have been in a euphoric haze since about 6ish on November 18.

Not only did my beloved buckeyes beat the so-called best team that Llllloyd Carr has ever coached, but they kept that school up north out of the NC game, and secured a spot in the NC game for themselves. And since then, wolverine fans have whined, and complained, and cried... its been great!

Reason of the day to hate ESPN!


Resident nerd Joe Lunardi has published his first "bracketology" column on ESPN.com that includes a complete projection for the 65 teams who will be playing in the 2007 NCAA tournament and each team's seeding.

Check your calendar (yep, November 16!), then read that last sentence again.

By the way, 2 days!

5 days!

I Hate the Big East


two weeks ago WVU was undefeated, playing a weak non-conference schedule, but unbeaten in a "power conference" and thus deserving of a chance to play for the BCS title

One week ago Louisville was undefeated, playing a weak non-conference schedule, but unbeaten in a "power conference" and thus deserving of a chance to play for the BCS title

Now Rutgers is undefeated, playing a weak non-conference schedule, but unbeaten in a "power conference" and BUT NOT deserving of a chance to play for the BCS title??? huh?

please to explain!