Tuesday, September 12, 2006

T-minus 85 hours till Football Orgy!

If you've been reading this site recently --and judging by my profile views, you haven't! zing!-- you've noticed that this site has been very college football-centric lately. Sue me. I've have been thinking a lot about football lately, and that probably isn't going to change anytime soon. So if you enjoyed my musings back in august about the cute brunettes at my gym, or my exploits with bartending groupies, check back with me in February...

Now then! I don't know if you have noticed, but this Saturday might be the single greatest day in the history of organized collegiate athletics. A virtual smorgasbord of great matchups await me and my fellow Saturday afternoon barflies. Here is a quick breakdown of the biggest games:

Cincinnati at Ohio State

Get fired up bucks fans! ok maybe not. by the way, this is a classic CLASSIC trap game and it really makes me nervous. But thats another story for another day...

Michigan at Notre Dame (-6.5)

Should be a great game. My favorite game of the year by the way. Why you ask? Because when I wake up Saturday, I wake up 100% sure that EITHER Michigan OR Notre Dame WILL LOSE THAT DAY. Now that they have eliminated ties this has become a beautiful feeling. Any time you have the chance to bet against Lloyd Carr in a big game, you take it my friend. Look for Michigan to lose big time.

Oklahoma at Oregon (-4.5)

Oh my gosh. This is the lock of the week. Take every dollar out of you bank account and bet it on Oregon. Oklahoma has had trouble putting away, in order, UAB and Washington. Their starting quarterback is a kid who a month ago was thinking to himself, "man, am I glad they moved me to reciever!" Adrian Peterson is a beast. Or a 'meast' if you prefer, but he can't do it all himself.

Miami at Louisville (-4)

Very interesting. How will the 'canes respond in their first big game since the FSU game? On the road? How will the 'cards play in their first big game without Michael Bush? Louisville still has aspirations to win the (pathetic) big east conference and play in a BCS game. If they want to do that, they need to win games like this one. Larry Coker is (inexplicably) on the hot seat. If he wants to keep his job and keep those fans down there happy, he needs to win games like this. Take the points, I guess, but this is an even matchup.

LSU at Auburn (-3)

I love the SEC. I love it because of knock-down, drag-out, slap-ya-mamma matchups like this one. Two hard-nosed, physical, BCS-caliber teams from the south ready to trade some paint. You just don't get this kind of stuff in the NFL man!. Bet the house on the Tigers! Just kidding. (everyone will be doing that joke this week) I think Auburn might just be the best team in the country, so I'll take them.

Clemson at Florida State (-4.5)

Two teams that really need to impress this week. FSU after almost losing to the trojans. Not the USC trojans mind you, the TROY trojans. And Clemson, after losing in overtime to BC because they were unable to successfully execute an extra point. Plus, if you witnessed the transcendant excitement that was the Manning Bowl on Sunday night, then what could be better than another Bowden Bowl? Tommy always seems to have daddy's number, so take the points.

Florida at Tennessee (+3)

This was a huge game when it was Peyton Manning (there's that guy again! He's everywhere!) vs. Steve Spurrier. It is less big when it is Eric Ainge vs. Urban Meyer, but its still a big game. Is UT really as good as they looked two weeks ago versus Cal? or as bad as they looked one week ago against the Air Force Academy? How good is Chris Leak anyway? How will he do in his second year in the rediculous spread-option-shotgun-oopty-oop system created by Coach Meyer?

Nebraska at USC (-18.5)

Yes! Finally someone will wipe that smug look off of Bill Callahan's face. USC beats the corn out of Nebraska

I don't know about you, but I can't wait!

Sunday, September 10, 2006

hungover thoughts

Skip Bayless: Keep picking against the Buckeyes. Dick.

I'm loving these new nike football commercials.

Penn St. fans are obnoxious. I'd love to hear what they have to say now.

University of Colorado: just get rid of the football program alltogether. just close up shop.

more later while I enjoy the NFL

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Random Thoughts from the Best Weekend on the Calendar

Labor Day weekend is always the best weekend of the year. Its a 3 day weekend, it ends summer (easily the most overrated season of the year) and begins fall (the most underrated season), and it marks the beginning of COLLEGE FOOTBALL.

First and foremost, Cal, Colorado and Duke all Suck OUT LOUD. Jebus! Those three teams would all like to take a trip in the wayback machine and re-live this past weekend. Cal took a large step away from the title of "last team to beat USC in the regular season" and a large step towards the title of "Pac-10 team that most often fall short of their unwarranted hype." Doesn't it feel like about a decade ago that Cal beat USC in like 5 overtimes or something? And they are still living off of that game. Remember two years ago when they were pissed that they were sent to the holiday bowl instead of the rose bowl? Then Texas went out and won the rose bowl and Cal caught a beatdown in San Diego? Freakin whiners.

Lee Corso: I like you. I really do. But nice freaking pick.

And by the way, on the betting level, an SEC team (UT +2.5) GETTING points AT HOME against a whack-10 team (Cal)? Straight cash homies!

I used to think that no good football was played west of the rockies. Well, I may have to amend that line of thinking. Like, move that line of demarcation FURTHER EAST! After watching your Colorado Golden Buffs lose AT HOME to a 1-AA team. Who would have thought that a 70-3 browbeating at the hands of Texas would suddenly look good?

Speaking of looking good by comparison, who would have thought that a lacrosse team that is accused of getting drunk, and raping strippers while hurling racial epithets would be the SECOND MOST EMBARASSING TEAM ON CAMPUS?? The Duke Football Blue Devils went out and lost 13-0 at home to a 1-AA team. Thats right sports fans, an ACC team was SHUT OUT AT HOME by a 1-AA squad.

Was I the only one who thought the "full circle coverage" of the FSU - Miami game was overhyped, overdone, completely disorienting? Oh and by the way ESPN, everytime I feel like I have less Colin Coward in my life, you keep FEEDING ME MORE! Please for the love of all things holy! STOP!

Mark Jones: I like you. I really do. But get this through your head: FSU is the GARNETT and gold and tOSU is the SCARLET and gray. The Buckeyes do NOT wear garnett and gray!! He said that like 3 times.

If its possible to be unimpressive in a 50-14 win, then USC was unimpressive in beating Arkansas.

If its possible to be unimpressive in a 30-7 win, then Michigan was unimpressive in beating Vandy.

Starting to get focused for this Saturday's tOSU-Texas game...