Friday, February 16, 2007

The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue has officially become irrelevant.

When I was a kid the most exciting time of the entire year was when some kid would steal his dad’s SI swimsuit issue and bring it in to school. Then we would all huddle around his locker and ogle pictures of Kathy Ireland, Vendela, and Elle McPhereson, in bikinis. We couldn’t believe that for one week a year a magazine would actually send a complete issue of scantily-clad women to subscribers’ houses.

Then I went off to college and discovered that a new innovation had been created. The “men’s magazine.” Not quite GQ or Details, not exactly Men’s Fitness, or Men’s Health, and just short of Playboy, and Penthouse. Of course I am referring to the fraternity house shitter reading that is Maxim, Stuff, FHM, Blender, and whatever other clones of these magazines that have been spawned since I began this post 1 ½ paragraphs ago. These magazines do exactly what the Swimsuit Issue does, except they do it every month. And they do it with girls we recognize from movies, TV, and music. In other words, SI takes women who wear nothing but swimsuits for a living, and compiles pictures of them in swimsuits, and makes a magazine issue out of it. Maxim and others take women that men have been mentally picturing in swimsuits and underwear, and print pictures of them swimsuits and underwear. Brilliant.

And you have to believe that SI sees the writing on the wall. Why else would they devote so much of their issues now on stuff like bodypaint,

Strategically placed mp3 players

and give the cover to a Golden Globe nominated, Grammy award winning recording artist and actress?

That being said, the women in this year’s Swimsuit Issue are still ridiculously hot, from cover girl Beyonce,

to Marissa Miller,

to Yesica Toscanini.

And props to SI for having a music theme to the issue, which meant pictures on-location in our native Cleveland, OH at the rock and roll hall of fame.

Hooray for irrelevant magazines!

Have a good weekend perverts!

2 comments:

Carl said...

Just because you're tired of it doesn't make it irrelevant. Obviously millions of others disagree.

A sad little blog that's barely a blip on the blogosphere? Now THAT's irrelevant.

Anonymous said...

I cant believe you just wasted my time with this. I could have used this time to read my Maxim and masterbate to it