Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Screw the World

Butch - "you ok?"

Marcellus - "nah....I'm pretty fuckin' far from 'ok' man"

-Pulp Fiction

Ok, so I'm usually a happy-go-lucky guy, but for obvious reasons (cough! 41-14) I'm not really in such a great mood. Consequently, I'm taking in out on a few of a growing number of douchebags that have come out of the woodwork in the last few weeks.

I've been wanting to get this off of my chest, so please indulge me.

Douchebag #1 - that assclown baseball writer from Chicago

Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I'm anal, but whenever there is a major award or honor given out, I like to read the fine print and see who got how many 1st place votes and 2nd place votes etc. When reading the fine print from this weeks baseball hall of fame inductions, I noticed a little footnote stating that there was a writer that turned in a blank ballot. (mind you, he didn't abstain from voting, he turned in his freaking ballot blank. More on this in a second) Now, I was almost ready to let this pass. Then I heard this self-righteous gas-bag on Mike & Mike and I almost threw my radio at a wall.

This guy says that he refuses to vote for anyone who played during the 1994-2005 period he called the steroid era. He said that he does not know who was using and who wasn't during that period so he didn't want to vote anyone in.

It gets better.

He said that if a year goes by and he learns more about the era, or if he doesn't hear about anyone else taking performance enhancers during that time then maybe he will start to vote for players from the "steroid era." In other words, it is incumbent upon all players from this era to prove to him that they didn't take steroids. Either that, or if nothing else comes out, he'll be convinced. Priceless.

It gets better.

He then went on to say that he knew that Tony Gwynn and Cal Ripken would be voted in anyway, and he wanted to make sure that they didn't get voted in unanimously. He felt that if guys like Ruth, Cobb, Gehrig, Aaron, and Mayes weren't unanimous, then no one should be.

Dickhead, if you don't want to vote, DON'T VOTE! But for you to go out of your way to send in a blank ballot tells me that you not only wanted to further your own agenda, but you wanted to call attention to yourself while doing so. (that is why I have refused to mention his name) And to all baseball writers who use the hall of fame election process as a method to preach from your own soapboxes about the "steroid era" and how players today don't compare to players of yesteryear, please, save it.

I cannot believe I just ranted about a Chicago-area sportswriter not named Jay Mariotti! I feel better already.

Douchebag #2 - That guy who voted Boise St. #1 in his final AP Ballot.

Ok, I see you working here. They were undefeated. They won a BCS game. But after watching that beat-down on Monday night, do you honestly think that they could stay on the field with Florida? The team that won by 1 touchdown or less against, Wyoming, Hawaii (at home), and San Jose Freaking State? They won by a field goal against a SJSU team with three WAC conference losses and you think that they are better then a Florida team that just dismatled the previously-undefeated Buckeyes?
Douchebag #3 - Bobby Petrino
You are a liar and a douche. You signed a 10 year contract (10 frigging years?) with Louisville last year and said that was "exactly where you wanted to be." Of course that was all after speaking to Auburn about its coaching postion. (even though your "friend" Tommy Tubberville held that job at the time) You will not last 3 years in Atlanta. Have fun with Mike Vick.
Douchebag # 4 - Chris Meyers
"Ok, I'll get out of the way now and let you propose to your girlfriend"
you are lucky Ian Johnson didn't punch you in the face.

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