Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Who to hate this weekend

The blogosphere is abuzz this week in anticipation of this Sunday’s AFC championship match-up. And
everyone is asking the same thing who do we cheer for? And more importantly, who do we cheer against? Who do we hate more? Who will be more insufferable if they win?

We here at WCT will be cheering loudly against the Patriots. Let us count the reasons to hate them

Bill Belichick

First foremost, Bill Belichick is an intolerable dick. Belichick (or as he was known as Browns coach in the early ‘90s, “Bill Bellyache”) is hailed as some sort of football messiah by most members of ESPN to the point that you would think that he invented the sport. As Cleveland Browns fans, this makes us sick to our stomach.

When Bellyache was the coach of the Browns, to put it kindly, he sucked. He was consistently out coached, all of his players hated him, and he alienated the fanbase. In 1993 he became jealous of the fame and influence that Bernie Kosar had with the other players and the Cleveland fans, so he had Kosar cut after the seventh game. In the middle of a playoff run he cut his starting quarterback. Let us say that one more time -he not only benched his starting quarterback, but this asshole cut him outright in the middle of the season. Predictably, the 5-2 team fell apart down the stretch (as any team would after its best player is cut) and finished 7-9. As a result of these actions, the city turned on Bellyache, and when Kosar landed on his feet in Dallas, fans began coming to Browns games in Cowboys jerseys. The disconnect that Bellyache created between the team and the city grew, and at least in small part, contributed to the Browns moving Baltimore in 1995. Cleveland has not forgiven him for this.

Fast forward a few years, and shift the scene to New York. When Bill Parcells stepped down as Jets coached, and inexplicably tapped a then-undeserving Bellyache to take his spot as coach, how does Belly repay him? By sending a cryptic fax the next day containing the now immortal words “I resign as HC of the NYJ” and bolting for a better offer from the Patriots. The rest, sadly, is history.

Not only that, but he is a home-wrecker (but who could blame the woman? She is only human after all, how can she possibly resist the dashing good looks and casanova personality of one William Bellyache).

Tom Brady

No, we don’t hate him because he is likely banging Gisele.

We hate him because he went to Michigan and is a smug prick. He cries every time he is touched in the pocket, and he talks more trash after the whistle more than any other quarterback we know. Just ask Brian Urlacher.

Rodney Harrison

The Patriots have this reputation for representing everything that is right in the world, yet they have the dirtiest player in the NFL on their roster.

Junior Seau

I’m not retiring! I’m graduating! (to the Patriots)

Romeo Crennel

The branch of the Belichick tree we ended up with in Cleveland. He is 10-22 in two seasons as Browns coach. The gift that keeps on giving

Bill Belichick

We aren’t done with him! Can you believe this dick refused to call by name or even lower himself to shake hands with his protégé (and current HC of the NYJ) Eric Mangini after the latter beat him in the regular season? But after he blows the Jets out in the playoffs he is literally shoving cameramen out of his way to hug Mangini and raving about what a great job he has done with the Jets?

So there you have it. That is why we hate the Patriots. That is why we cheered against them last Sunday, that is why will be cheering against them this Sunday, and when they inevitably win, that is why we will be cheering against them in the Super Bowl.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

If you want to shut them up, simply beat them with any consistancy, you cant.