Football Orgy: Part Deux!

Santa has brought us all a sack full of great football matchups this weekend, and it is starting to feel like another Football Orgy. In light of that, here are my picks and previews! Judging by my performance during Football Orgy I this September, not to mention my horrible picks over at Awful Announcing!.

But anyway, on to the picks!

New Orleans at NY Giants (-3)

Let me let you in on a little-known fact. Although it may seem to the naked eye that the G-men have been keeping their heads above water recently, they have gone 3-5 since beating the Cowboys on Monday night. Those wins? they beat horrible Tampa Bay 17-3, they squeaked by Houston 14-10 at home, and they beat Carolina and Chris Weinkie, he of the 17 game losing streak. And I can tell you living in New York and watching this team, they have to be the most poorly coached, least disciplined team in the League. Take the Saints and the points.

(Side Note: Did you know that the three guys the Chargers got with the picks from the Eli Manning trade have now all made the pro bowl? You think the Giants would like Phil Rivers, Nate Kaeding, and Shawne Merriman for Eli today?)

New England at Jacksonville (-3)

The Pats getting 3 points against the Jags? This is what we in the biz call a lock my friends. Bet the house on New England. I don't believe in David Gerrard, and Tommy the Golden Boy is going to play with a chip on his shoulder after not making the pro bowl.

Cincinnatti at Denver (-3)

I really don't like what I have seen from either of these teams recently, but if give me Carson Palmer and points against a rookie QB, I say that sounds like a good bet.

Philadelphia at Dallas (-7)

Pay no attention to what the World Wide Leader tells you, THIS is the real Monday night game this week. This is going to be my WCT upset special. Think of it as my Christmas present to you the reader. Take the Eagles. I just have a feeling about them. I don't think they are going to win per se, but I think they can keep it within a touchdown. I think that Jeff Garcia is on a roll, and people are starting to figure out how to defend Tony Romo.

Down with the King!

Everyone else in the blogosphere has taken to the "mock some moron's column" column, so here is another attempt at that on my part. Every week I inexplicably read the drivel that SI.com allows Peter King to pollute the internet with, and everyweek I giggle to myself and mock his lack of knowledge, his inability to write interesting pieces, and his general incompetence. So I might as well bring this mocking straight to the blogoshepere.

Here is my analysis of King's latest masterpiece

For those of you that are new to King's brilliance, I will point out the things that appear ever yweek that make this gasbag so damned annoying.

Lets start with the section called "10 things I think I think." Actually, lets just start right there with the title. "10 things I think I think?" You don't know if you think them? I'm confused. Anyway, here goes:

1. I think these are my quick-hit thoughts of Week 15:

a. How much of a nut would you have thought I was if I'd told you in September that the biggest TV story down the stretch in the New York metropolitan area would be whether the cable giants in the area would carry the Rutgers bowl game? Weird, very weird, but true, with 70 percent of New Jersey not having the NFL Network on their home cable systems, and the new network telecasting the Rutgers-Kansas State Texas Bowl from Houston on Dec. 28.

The first thing you notice when you read Peter, is that he assumes that everything that happens and involves either New York, Boston, or Washington, DC is just that much more noteworthy than everything that happens everywhere else. If you live in, say Duluth, and you happen to have the misfortune of stumbling upon this column, what do you care that Rutgers fans won't be able to watch a meaningless bowl game?

b. If you somehow get a chance, read a transcript of Carl Banks' searing Q&A on Sirius NFL Radio with Mora about his death-wish comments regarding the University of Washington job. Ted Koppel might have done better, but I'm not sure.

c. Just wondering: Is John Abraham made of paper mache?

d. You need to read South Florida Sun-Sentinel columnist Dave Hyde's superb piece, a couple of weeks old now, on the seriously reclusive former Super Bowl MVP, Dolphin safety Jake Scott, now living in Hawaii. One of the best newspaper stories I've read in a long time.

Okay, so here is another thing that annoys me. Its "10" things, but each "thing" consists of like 15 sub-headings (sub-things?) and most of them are just random thoughts and non-sequitors, like:

e. The more I see of Maurice Jones-Drew, the more I think he's one of the best 10 backs in football.

f. The more I see of Cedric Houston, the more I think he's one of the top 30 backs in football. He's the best back the Jets employ.

First of all, most average fans new Mo-Jo Drew was a top tier back a month ago, so once again Petey isn't breaking any new ground there. And as for Houston, he is their featured back, so pointing out that he is the best back on the team isn't saying much at all. Furthermore, there are 32 teams in the league, so if you are a starting back on one of those teams, are you really in select company if you are one of the 30 best backs in the league??

g. Congratulations, Chad Pennington: 29 of 39 for 339 yards against the Vikes. That was one heck of a job against a good front seven in the Metrodome.

This is something he loves to do. For some reason, Peter is under the misconception that NFL players play their games on Sunday, and rush home to read his column. So he writes crap like this addressed directly to them.

i. The Bears have horseshoes in their shoes.

What does that even mean? Is it a good thing? Is it a bad thing? Help me out with this one.

Lets skip ahead.

4. I think this is what I liked about Week 15:

a. Rod Coleman is a really good football player. I'm not sure I'd take any three-down defensive tackle in football over him.

Its random proclamations like this that make him sound more like Larry King.

d. Trent Cole is going to be a good player for the Eagles for a long time. He's feisty, a little cheap-shotty, and the kind of guy every defensive coordinator would love to have.

What defensive coordinator wouldn't want a guy who is "a little cheap-shotty?" I never knew this was a good thing!

f. You know what I liked about the Redskins in the win at New Orleans? Everything.

You can't pay for in-depth analysis like that.

h. Ladell Betts, we have to give you the MVRP (Most Valuable Relief Pitcher).

Peter, you've lost me again. And there he goes again addressing players directly. Ladell Betts doesn't read your crap!

6. I think Terrell Owens deserves to be fined $25,000 and shunned, but not suspended, for spitting on DeAngelo Hall.

Shunned? Whoa! Slow down Peter! Are you sure you aren't being too hard on him?

Most overrated coverman in the NFL: DeAngelo Hall

If only D-Hall were more "cheap-shotty."

What a putrid Lion-Packer game. Both teams look years away.

Ok, I'm writing this down, you say that the Lions (2-12) and Packers (6-8) are years away? Ok, Ok I'm learning. What about this Raiders team? How close are they?

Gotta play better than that, Matt Leinart.

Ok, again, Matt Leinart is not reading this. And when you write directly to him it really annoys me. (see the irony there? I'm writing directly to Peter! nevermind, lets move on)

10. I think these are my non-football thoughts of the week

This is easily the most entertaining portion of the column, where Peter graces our computer screens with his thoughts on the Red Sox, coffee, his daughter's field hockey career, and anything else that you and I could not give a good goddam about.

I see Prince is set to sing at halftime of the Super Bowl. What, Bobby Vinton wasn't available?

Again, I have no idea what this means. Who the hell is Bobby Vinton? Is this reference lost on anyone else?

I've got to tell you, Joe Torre and Phil Simms selling the green tea makes it really easy for me to have a big mug of it every afternoon. Smart ad strategy, Bigelow.

What does this even mean? You drink green tea simply because Joe Torre and Phil Simms are paid to go on TV and endorse it? Are you really that gullable?

Steve Nash. Drew Brees

Peter King. Moron

g. The Daisuke Matsuzaka deal seems fair for both sides. The Red Sox pay $16.7 million a year for the best pitcher in free-agency (combining the fee to the Japanese team with the pitcher's salary). Good for them, in this crazy baseball economy. And Matsuzaka gets $8.5 million a year, knowing he's going to make millions more in endorsements (in two countries) if he's as good as he thinks he is. Re the $16.7 million a year ... Gil Meche got $11 mill. Barry Zito's going to get $16. Don't the scouts all think Matsuzaka's a can't-miss guy? Maybe not can't-miss ace, but at least can't-miss 15-game winner.

h. Bill Parcells to me after the Cowboys-Falcons game: "You must be pretty happy. You signed the Japanese pitcher.'' Well, uh, shucks, I don't deserve all the credit for the signing.

i. Sox rotation April 2-4-5 in Kansas City to open the season: Schilling, Beckett, Matsuzaka.

And there's money shot! Three, count 'em, THREE consecutive bullets about the goddam Red Sox. Those of you who may be fans of the other 29 major leage baseball teams, go screw yourselves!

First of all, you call Matsuzaka a "can't miss 15 win guy." Ok, lets look at the top 4 win totals from last years Sox rotation: 16, 15, 7, and 7. Now lets look at the top win totals from the American League last year shall we? 19, 19, 18, and 17. So if Matsuzaka is as you call him a "can't miss 15 win guy" in his first year in the majors, then not only would he be an ace, not only would he be the rookie of the year, but he would be a candidate for the Cy Young Award.

Second of all, the rotation against the Royals could be Larry, Curly, Moe, and they would do no worse than win 2 out of 3, so that last comments just worthless.

There you have it folks. The King at his finest. All you have ever wanted to know about green tea, the Red Sox, and random football opinions based on anything other than actual fact. And SI.com pays him for this.

Fat guy... Overrated quarterback...blah blah blah

Just Now coming down from November 18

Ok, so I'm sorry I have been ignoring this blog, but I have been in a euphoric haze since about 6ish on November 18.

Not only did my beloved buckeyes beat the so-called best team that Llllloyd Carr has ever coached, but they kept that school up north out of the NC game, and secured a spot in the NC game for themselves. And since then, wolverine fans have whined, and complained, and cried... its been great!

Reason of the day to hate ESPN!


Resident nerd Joe Lunardi has published his first "bracketology" column on ESPN.com that includes a complete projection for the 65 teams who will be playing in the 2007 NCAA tournament and each team's seeding.

Check your calendar (yep, November 16!), then read that last sentence again.

By the way, 2 days!

5 days!

I Hate the Big East


two weeks ago WVU was undefeated, playing a weak non-conference schedule, but unbeaten in a "power conference" and thus deserving of a chance to play for the BCS title

One week ago Louisville was undefeated, playing a weak non-conference schedule, but unbeaten in a "power conference" and thus deserving of a chance to play for the BCS title

Now Rutgers is undefeated, playing a weak non-conference schedule, but unbeaten in a "power conference" and BUT NOT deserving of a chance to play for the BCS title??? huh?

please to explain!

There is an NBA on ESPN promo that hypes a game with the following line -"the Clippers look to get revenge on the Suns!" huh?? Revenge for what?

Speaking of the worldwide leader, when are they going to just pull the plug on Cold Pizza? After Thea was shown the door and they expanded the role of those two crochety old douchebags the show became a train wreck.

College football thoughts:

1) Why is it anytime there is a coaching opening in college OR THE NFL, the first name that comes up invariably is Kirk freakin' Ferentz?? Why does everyone suck off this guy? What has he EVER accomplished at Iowa? When was the last time he won a big game? Every year people try to put Iowa up with Ohio State and THEM (I know I stole that) they end up underachieving.

2) I have a funny feeling about The "U" (+5) this week against Georgia Tech. I would probably take the 'Canes. That is my WCT upset of the week.

3) As you know, I hate Penn St. But I do love this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pZJ1MH3zJU&mode=related&search=

Random Thoughts During a BOOOOOOOORING Monday Night Game

Saturday night football at Penn St. this week. Which means if we are lucky, we get to see this again:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJzjV6F3iu4

My LCS baseball picks -

NL - Mets in 5. Does anyone have more clutch hitters than the Mets? Also, always bet against the "genius" Tony LaRussa

AL - Tigers in 6. They look like this years '03 Marlins. They even have pudge.

Have you seen a less inspired performance that Auburn's on Saturday?

Stu - "Boo-yeah!!"
Chad - "Boo-No!!"
I love that commercial

Can someone please tell me why ESPN got rid of NFL Primetime?? I miss it already. Was it not getting ratings?

"Around the Horn" is now a completely unwatchable piece of crap. It has degenerated into Jay Mariotti whining, Woody Page babbling incoherently while doing unfunny schtick, Bill Plaschke acting holier than thou, and Statboy trying to hog camera time. Bring back Max Kellerman! Bring back Michael Holley!

T-minus 85 hours till Football Orgy!

If you've been reading this site recently --and judging by my profile views, you haven't! zing!-- you've noticed that this site has been very college football-centric lately. Sue me. I've have been thinking a lot about football lately, and that probably isn't going to change anytime soon. So if you enjoyed my musings back in august about the cute brunettes at my gym, or my exploits with bartending groupies, check back with me in February...

Now then! I don't know if you have noticed, but this Saturday might be the single greatest day in the history of organized collegiate athletics. A virtual smorgasbord of great matchups await me and my fellow Saturday afternoon barflies. Here is a quick breakdown of the biggest games:

Cincinnati at Ohio State

Get fired up bucks fans! ok maybe not. by the way, this is a classic CLASSIC trap game and it really makes me nervous. But thats another story for another day...

Michigan at Notre Dame (-6.5)

Should be a great game. My favorite game of the year by the way. Why you ask? Because when I wake up Saturday, I wake up 100% sure that EITHER Michigan OR Notre Dame WILL LOSE THAT DAY. Now that they have eliminated ties this has become a beautiful feeling. Any time you have the chance to bet against Lloyd Carr in a big game, you take it my friend. Look for Michigan to lose big time.

Oklahoma at Oregon (-4.5)

Oh my gosh. This is the lock of the week. Take every dollar out of you bank account and bet it on Oregon. Oklahoma has had trouble putting away, in order, UAB and Washington. Their starting quarterback is a kid who a month ago was thinking to himself, "man, am I glad they moved me to reciever!" Adrian Peterson is a beast. Or a 'meast' if you prefer, but he can't do it all himself.

Miami at Louisville (-4)

Very interesting. How will the 'canes respond in their first big game since the FSU game? On the road? How will the 'cards play in their first big game without Michael Bush? Louisville still has aspirations to win the (pathetic) big east conference and play in a BCS game. If they want to do that, they need to win games like this one. Larry Coker is (inexplicably) on the hot seat. If he wants to keep his job and keep those fans down there happy, he needs to win games like this. Take the points, I guess, but this is an even matchup.

LSU at Auburn (-3)

I love the SEC. I love it because of knock-down, drag-out, slap-ya-mamma matchups like this one. Two hard-nosed, physical, BCS-caliber teams from the south ready to trade some paint. You just don't get this kind of stuff in the NFL man!. Bet the house on the Tigers! Just kidding. (everyone will be doing that joke this week) I think Auburn might just be the best team in the country, so I'll take them.

Clemson at Florida State (-4.5)

Two teams that really need to impress this week. FSU after almost losing to the trojans. Not the USC trojans mind you, the TROY trojans. And Clemson, after losing in overtime to BC because they were unable to successfully execute an extra point. Plus, if you witnessed the transcendant excitement that was the Manning Bowl on Sunday night, then what could be better than another Bowden Bowl? Tommy always seems to have daddy's number, so take the points.


Florida at Tennessee (+3)

This was a huge game when it was Peyton Manning (there's that guy again! He's everywhere!) vs. Steve Spurrier. It is less big when it is Eric Ainge vs. Urban Meyer, but its still a big game. Is UT really as good as they looked two weeks ago versus Cal? or as bad as they looked one week ago against the Air Force Academy? How good is Chris Leak anyway? How will he do in his second year in the rediculous spread-option-shotgun-oopty-oop system created by Coach Meyer?


Nebraska at USC (-18.5)

Yes! Finally someone will wipe that smug look off of Bill Callahan's face. USC beats the corn out of Nebraska


I don't know about you, but I can't wait!

hungover thoughts

Skip Bayless: Keep picking against the Buckeyes. Dick.

I'm loving these new nike football commercials.

Penn St. fans are obnoxious. I'd love to hear what they have to say now.

University of Colorado: just get rid of the football program alltogether. just close up shop.

more later while I enjoy the NFL

Random Thoughts from the Best Weekend on the Calendar

Labor Day weekend is always the best weekend of the year. Its a 3 day weekend, it ends summer (easily the most overrated season of the year) and begins fall (the most underrated season), and it marks the beginning of COLLEGE FOOTBALL.

First and foremost, Cal, Colorado and Duke all Suck OUT LOUD. Jebus! Those three teams would all like to take a trip in the wayback machine and re-live this past weekend. Cal took a large step away from the title of "last team to beat USC in the regular season" and a large step towards the title of "Pac-10 team that most often fall short of their unwarranted hype." Doesn't it feel like about a decade ago that Cal beat USC in like 5 overtimes or something? And they are still living off of that game. Remember two years ago when they were pissed that they were sent to the holiday bowl instead of the rose bowl? Then Texas went out and won the rose bowl and Cal caught a beatdown in San Diego? Freakin whiners.

Lee Corso: I like you. I really do. But nice freaking pick.

And by the way, on the betting level, an SEC team (UT +2.5) GETTING points AT HOME against a whack-10 team (Cal)? Straight cash homies!

I used to think that no good football was played west of the rockies. Well, I may have to amend that line of thinking. Like, move that line of demarcation FURTHER EAST! After watching your Colorado Golden Buffs lose AT HOME to a 1-AA team. Who would have thought that a 70-3 browbeating at the hands of Texas would suddenly look good?

Speaking of looking good by comparison, who would have thought that a lacrosse team that is accused of getting drunk, and raping strippers while hurling racial epithets would be the SECOND MOST EMBARASSING TEAM ON CAMPUS?? The Duke Football Blue Devils went out and lost 13-0 at home to a 1-AA team. Thats right sports fans, an ACC team was SHUT OUT AT HOME by a 1-AA squad.

Was I the only one who thought the "full circle coverage" of the FSU - Miami game was overhyped, overdone, completely disorienting? Oh and by the way ESPN, everytime I feel like I have less Colin Coward in my life, you keep FEEDING ME MORE! Please for the love of all things holy! STOP!

Mark Jones: I like you. I really do. But get this through your head: FSU is the GARNETT and gold and tOSU is the SCARLET and gray. The Buckeyes do NOT wear garnett and gray!! He said that like 3 times.

If its possible to be unimpressive in a 50-14 win, then USC was unimpressive in beating Arkansas.

If its possible to be unimpressive in a 30-7 win, then Michigan was unimpressive in beating Vandy.

Starting to get focused for this Saturday's tOSU-Texas game...

Rip Skip!

Ok, every other blogger has done something similar to this, so I am going to take a shot at it. In honor of my man Skip Bayless' glorious dissmissal from ESPN.com, I am going to take one of his ill-concieved, PoS "columns" and rip it to shreds "firejoemorgan.com" style. This should be fun:

The subject of today's "column" is Tiger Woods, a common target of Bayless. His words in bold:

As I watched Tiger roar again on Sunday and turn another major-championship field into so many 'fraidy cats, I couldn't help thinking of Jim Liu.

Jim is a Tiger cub. Jim again recently terrorized his division of the U.S. Kids World Golf Championship, which attracted 960 players from 47 states and 33 countries. Jim, of Smithtown, N.Y., won by shooting 68, 69, 67 at Pinehurst.

He's 10 years old.

I assume this is leading to something, but I have no idea what.

So maybe when Jim is 20 and Tiger is 40 and has won 24 majors, this kid will finally have the guts and game to trade final-twosome birdies with Tiger Woods and push him to validate his greatest-ever status with a 59.
Sorry, I was daydreaming. Two-shot penalty.

Ok, I have no idea what the hell he is talking about right now. I know this will eventually lead to Skip attacking Tiger on some level, but I'm not sure what a 10-year old has to do with Tiger.

I know, I should simply be thankful I got to watch every stunning shot of the exhibition Tiger Woods performed for us in winning his second PGA Championship at Medinah. He played one tournament -- one game -- while all the others played another. The final-round game he played was his greatest ever -- even greater than Pebble Beach or St. Andrews in 2000 -- because it was so intelligent, so mature, so controlled, such a devastating blend of accurate power and finesse.

This is what journalists call a "straw man." He is setting up the other side of the argument so that he can shoot it down. Usually, it's not as transparent and obvious as Skip's here, but you get the idea.

No more overpowering Augusta National, Pebble and St. Andrews -- fairly wide-open courses he loves -- with tee-shot swings that made Gary Sheffield look meek. No more trying to live up to his gallery-detonating reputation by blasting his driver on every par four and five. No more allowing players with half his game to steal majors from him because he was Tiger "in the" Woods.

Another thing Skippy likes to do is come up with impossibly clever nicknames like Tiger "in the" Woods. Get it?? In The Woods? As in his errant drives often stray away from the fairway and sometimes land in the woods? But the thing is, and here's the kicker, "Woods" is actually his last name also!! So its funny on so many levels! Ah, that gets me every time.

On the longest major-championship course ever, Tiger Woods hit his driver only twice on Sunday and won by five shots. The driver that hit the fairway was struck with three-quarters tempo. The one that missed still produced a birdie.

Another common trick of Skip's: he makes a completely unfounded and statement of his opinion and mixes it in with facts in order to support his argument. How do you know that he hit that drive at three-quarters tempo? What is this based on? Did you measure this? Can this be proven?

Now, less of Tiger is even more. He dialed it down to dial up 69, 68, 65, 68. Now Tiger has realized he can crush the field if he'll just get his tee shots in the fairway. His 3-woods and 5-woods and stinger 3-irons off the tee are plenty enough -- he still finished second in tournament driving distance at 318.2 yards -- because nobody can consistently strike more radar-locked mid-iron approaches, and nobody can chip and putt with him.
"I felt like I could make anything today," said Woods, the game's best clutch putter, who also went 4-for-4 in tournament sand saves.
This is getting 2000 scary again for any player not named Tiger Woods. No one has ever made the world's hardest game look this easy.
Still, I won't say he's the best ever until he passes Jack Nicklaus' 18 majors. But at this rate, that will happen seven majors from now, when he wins the 2008 British Open at Royal Birkdale.

This is a stupid argument. He can't be considered better than Jack untill he passes him? What if he wins his next six majors and stands tied with Jack at 18 majors apiece at the age of 32? Then you wouldn't consider him better than Jack, who won his 18th major at the age of 46?

Now, you can no longer downgrade his chances at even tight, high-rough, dogleg courses like Southern Hills in Tulsa, site of next year's PGA. Woods was never a threat in the 2001 U.S. Open at Southern Hills, finishing seven back of Retief Goosen and Mark Brooks.
But now, a maturing Woods can keep the head cover on his long-drive macho and beat anybody on any kind of course. He won the British Open hitting his Sasquatch driver just once in four rounds. Now he can big-foot the field on second shots alone.
Now, the only thing missing is a legitimate rival.

This is the most rediculous argument I have ever heard, and I hear morons like Skip make it all the time. "Tiger isn't that good because he has no rival...no one challenges him." No, Tiger is really good, and as evidence of this fact, look at the fact that he is never challenged. He has no peers. Others try to beat him, but they can't because he is better than them.

Look, I loved watching Woods' solo show on Sunday as much as any Woods fan. But in all objectivity, I still have to question the all-time quality of his competition. We know he's the greatest front-runner ever. But the only shootout he has won in 12 majors was against a one-Sunday wonder named Bob May, at the 2000 PGA.
Can he rally the way Nicklaus did on the final nine at the '86 Masters? Could he have won the "Duel in the Sun" at Turnberry, where Nicklaus lost to Tom Watson in '77? Who knows?

Did he just use a loss on Sunday by Jack Nicklaus as evidence of his greatness? So because Tiger has never lost a Sunday shootout at a major, he is not as good as Nicklaus, who lost at Turnberry in '77?

Maybe Woods would have done to Nicklaus' many rivals what he has done to his -- maul them into also-ran submission. Maybe, in the '60s, '70s and '80s, today's Tiger would have consistently intimidated and broken the wills of Arnold Palmer, Lee Trevino, Gary Player, Raymond Floyd, Tom Watson and Seve Ballesteros.
But I doubt it.

"Maybe I'm wrong... but I doubt it." Another terrific defeat of the straw man! Well played sir!

Woods was tied heading into Sunday's final round with Luke Donald. This was like the Big, Bad Wolf against one of the three little pigs.

What?

Woods birdied No. 1 and the short-knocking Donald quickly faded into the lengthening shadows, finishing with a 74.
Adam Scott, one of the many Next Tigers who have failed to live up their hype, did emerge from the shadows with a nice 67. But he still finished six back, and you still wonder if he's made of tough enough stuff to make the putts that win majors.
Scott was tied with Sergio Garcia, whose game might have peaked during the final round of the last PGA at Medinah, in 1999. He was 19 then, nicknamed El Nino. He had the guts, or maybe just the audacity, to shake a fist at Tiger while making a back-nine charge. But he soon proved he doesn't have the game -- especially the putter -- to shake anything but a tail feather at Tiger during majors.
Little Mike Weir went from 65 on Saturday to 73 on Sunday. Do you really think Tiger was afraid of him?
Chris DiMarco, who forced Woods into a Masters playoff and made a run at him early on the back nine at this year's British Open, finished six back. DiMarco definitely has the guts to challenge Woods, but not the game. On that playoff hole at Augusta, he had to hit 5-iron to the 18th green before Woods hit an 8-iron into birdie range.
Next.

When did "guts" come into this? If a guy shoots a 67 does that show "guts?" If a guy shoots a 73 did he do that because he didn't hit the ball very well? Or didn he not have the guts to shoot a lower score?
Phil Mickelson went eye-to-eye with Tiger the first two days, tying him on Thursday with a 69, but falling three shots behind him on Friday. He finished 12 back after Sunday's 74.
Now you have to wonder if we've seen the best of Mickelson.

Good point. He won the Masters earlier this year, now 5 months later he's DONE! Hang 'em up Mickelson! You're career is over because you shot a74!

He finally broke through and won his first major, The Masters, at age 33. He won last year's PGA. Yet Tiger was able neither time to breathe any fire on the back of Phil's neck because Tiger was allowing Hank Haney to rebuild his swing.
Mickelson won his third major at this year's Masters, yet again Woods failed to apply pressure on Sunday because his birdie putts burned lip after lip. With his father gravely ill, Woods obviously was trying too hard to win one last Masters for Pops.
After Earl Woods died, Woods spent six weeks in mourning without much practicing. He missed the cut at the U.S. Open. Mickelson might have won if he hadn't missed the 18th fairway with his drive.
Yet he drove the ball poorly for four rounds.
Mickelson hasn't been the same since that collapse. Is he getting a little too fat and happy with his three majors?

Ouch.

Will he ever again be driven enough to push Woods the way Palmer and Trevino and Watson pushed Nicklaus?
Nicklaus finished second 19 times in majors. He recently said he would have tried a little harder if he had known a kid named Tiger would come along.

On a side note, not only is this statement by Jack untrue, but it sounds like sour grapes. Jack was trying as hard as he possibly could everytime out when he competed, and the fact that Tiger eventually came along decades laster has nothing to do with the effort he put forth.

But many of those seconds happened because Nicklaus was simply beaten by great players.
Ernie Els, who now seems rather content with his place in golf history, finished 12 behind Woods at the PGA.
Chad Campbell, another Next Tiger, shot the low round of the day, 66, but finished 14 back. Jim Furyk, 15 back. Goosen and Davis Love, 16 back. Aaron Baddeley and Stuart Appleby, 22 back. Vijay Singh, Charles Howell III, Michael Campbell and Camilo Villegas missed the cut.
Today's fields definitely are deeper in good players. But Woods doesn't have to contend with as many great players as Nicklaus did.
Maybe when Jim Liu is 29 and Tiger is 49

I do not understand this column. Tiger isn't that good because no one challenges him? Jack was better because he came in second more often? I just do not get this line of reasoning. And Skippy and others use it all the freaking time

I've Had it with these MothaF*ckin Snakes on this MuthaF*ckin Plane!


That has nothing to do with this post... I just think that might be the single funniest movie line of all time

So the new SI came out. The college football preview issue. And they named a certain scarlet-and-gray-clad team as their number one team for 2006. This is no good. I don't like this . I don't like this one bit. Why? because SI always gets it WRONG.

They called USC #1 last year (wrong) They said the panthers would win the super bowl last year (wrong) They said the yankees would win the world series last year (wrong) they said duke would win the ncaa basketball championship this year (wrong) they picked the OSU #1 in 1969 (wrong) '98 (i still remember that year.. F you Plaxico Burress!) and 2003 (ugh) This is not good...

So the Orioles are leading the Yankees 3-0 rignt now. It is not a matter of IF they are going to blow this game, it is a matter of HOW.

Is there a more overated team in the history of organized team sports than the 2006 Notre Dame Fighting Irish football team?? Yes Brady Quinn is good. And he will probably be the #1 pick overall in next years NFL draft. But it has been over 11 months since they beat anyone decent. (a September 10th victory over Michigan. A team that would eventually lose FIVE games by the way) ND only beat TWO teams that would eventually end up with winning records last year. LLLLLoyd Carr and the 7-5 wolverines, and Navy, a team that hasn't beaten ND since JFK was in the white house.

Yes, they gave USC all they could handle in one of the most entertaining games I have ever seen. But they allowed a conversion on a late 4th and 9 and eventually found a way to lose. (incidently, Arizona St. also gave USC trouble and they ended up below .500. and five loss Fresno St. almost beat USC AT USC only weeks before losing at home to Nevada)

And how soon we forget that ND needed a late TD to beat the Pac-10 powerhouse Stanford in the last week of the season.

15 days..

Random Thoughts While that Black Eyed Peas Song "Pump It" Runs Through My Head...


Ok, I'm sure I've mentioned how I am not "that guy" who tries to hit on chicks at the gym, right? Right. But why do they keep shooting me flirtatious looks? Today it was a personal trainer who was working out with her, uh, client? patient? personal tranee? whatever... and she kept shooting me looks. Of course I did nothing, because I wouldn't even know how to begin that conversation. I'm going to have to work things like that into my game since Ana has given me permission to see other girls till she gets back from the Czech Republic.

Preseason football SUCKS!! its such a TEASE!! Three more weeks of this crap before the real thing? ugh..

I'm embarassed to call myself a Browns fan. Really. I'm legitimately embarassed. They have their first 1,000 yard rusher since 1985, (thats not a typo by the way, thats NINETEEN EIGHTY-FIVE) and they trade him?? By the way, their last two 1st round draft picks, Kellen Winslow and Braylon Edwards, have blown out their knees THRICE in two years. Thats two years, two draft picks, four total knees total, THREE KNEE INJURIES.

Browns Football - helping you appreciate the Buckeyes that much more since 1999!

Did You Know:

That if you google the phrase "Skip Bayless is an Idiot" you get over 18,000 results?

Random Stuff

Is it just me, or does Jessica Simpson look like a $5 whore in these pictures?

http://www.x17online.com/blog/archive/2006/august/01/article/sisters-doing-it-for-themselves

she looks like a young Courtney Love, no? Not to sound like Joan Rivers, but look at that hair! and the make-up looks like she did it in the car on the way over!


Did you know that the lead singer of the pussycat dolls AOL screen name is Mohala78? Its on wikipedia so its GOTTA be true!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicole_Scherzinger

Is there a better thing in life than the MLB extra innings package? Its so worth the money, especially when you have games like the Twins and Tigers tussle that I am enjoying as I write this. Very good game by the way. Would love to see a playoff series between these two clubs.

I love women who wear the wifebeaters (husband beaters?) to the gym. I was on the treadmill and the girl working out in front of me had one on. Very nice. never been they type to try to hit on a girl at the gym, but if you go to NYSC on the right night, there is plenty of eye candy.

If my artificial hair coloring ever starts to look as bad as Skip Bayless's, please, someone, do me a favor and just put a bullet through my head. I'm giving you permission.

I'm also watching this Mets game, and they keep giving Mike Piazza standing ovation after standing ovation. Enough already!

Speaking of the Mets, the chick that Paul Lo Duca was banging is HOT!

http://www.nypost.com/news/regionalnews/catcher_in_the_lie_as_sexy_tryst_teenager_calls_met_star_a_2_timing_scum_regionalnews_larry_celona_and_selim_algar.htm

and he is a pudgy little 5'8" guy! and he took that down?? All I can say is wow. Not only that, but his soon-to-be ex-wife is a playboy playmate? um, am I missing something here?? This guy

http://artfiles.art.com/images/-/Paul-Lo-Duca---Studio-Portrait---Photofile-Photograph-C11838109.jpeg

has not one but TWO rediculously hot women fighting over him? And you wonder why I dont understand women.

Thats all for now. 48 hours till the weekend, 22 days till football... seacrest out...

So much to say, so much to say, so much to say...

So much has happened since my last post. First of all, I ended things with Annie. I saw it coming, the FWB thing never works long-term. Plus it was sort of a long distance FWB relationship (she was a LDFWB!) which makes it doubly (is that a word?) tough.

I think Ana and I are going to be back together very soon. We hung out a little right before she went back to the Czech Republic to visit her fam for a week, and we decided to "see what happens" when she gets back. We all know what that eventually means. So I guess I have another week or so to sow my royal oats, as they said in "Coming to America."

23 days till football season officially begins with the Thursday night college games on the 31st. Am I the only one who is really really looking forward to this? My beloved Buckeyes are preseason #1, and as a sports fan from that area of the country, that only makes me nervous.

I think that September and October are really my favorite months of the year, and how could you not like them? Baseball heats up, and Football kicks off. Plus the bars and clubs in the city are always better in the fall once everyone comes back to Manhattan from the Hamptons.

I promise this blog will get more exciting once I start hooking up with chicks in the backroom of our bar and ranting about football. Hopefully for both of us that will beging sooner rather than later...

Random Thoughts...


Sitting here watching the Mets-Braves... Lou Pinella is a really good announcer.

The show WebJunk isn't really that funny, but Patrice O'Neal makes the show worth watching. He is freaking hilarious.

People magazine paid $4 million for the first pictures of Brad and Angelina's new baby. I saw the pictures, and you know what? The baby looks exactly like every other baby I have ever seen in my life. Anyone else think they didn't get their money's worth on that decision?

FIve weeks from today is the first saturday of college football...

By now all of you have seen this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dNnpxvIHZc&search=trampoline%20bear

clip of the trampoline bear right? Am I the only one that doesn't think its that funny? I think that this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Js3sT_2641k&search=gay%20ref

clip of the gay soccer ref is twice as funny.

Bartending tonight, I'll let you know how it goes

My Love-Hate Relationship with the World


Ok so a little more background: my loves and hates

Love #1:Football
I know that I said I love sports, but my obsession with football deserves its own entry. I love football. I love the NFL. I love college football. I love high school football. I played in college and all throughout my youth so it is in my blood and there's no getting it out. From the opening of college football till the Super Bowl is 24 weeks. I've done the math. And its the most glorious 24 weeks of the year. Those other 28 weeks in the year just don't compare. Check out

coachtressel.com

and at the bottom is a running clock till the start of football season. ( I think I just gave away who my favorite college fb team is! oops!). Can't wait

Love #2: Sports
most of the other sports are ok too. Love me some baseball.

Love#3: Women
I love women. I love you guys. I love the way you look, the way you smell, the way you walk. I just love women. Never had any questions about my own sexuality, because of how much I love women. I am lucky in that one of my jobs gives me the opportunity to be in contact with dozens of beautiful women on any given night. Love you all.


Hate#1: Women
you read that correctly. The guy/girl who wrote "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" was right. We might as well be from different planets. I have no idea what you girls are thinking, or why you do what you do. Or what it is exactly that you find attractive in half of the men that you lust over. And it is very frustrating!

Hate #2: Hate
hypocritical right? What I mean is I hate ignorance.


Hate #3: Obnoxious Sports Writers
if you have seen ESPN's obsession with obnoxous sports writers and their tendancy to try to put them on TV as much as possible, you know what I mean. And the more obnoxious they are, the more TV time they get. More on this later.


Hate #4: (tie) The New York Yankees, The University of Michigan
or as I call them, "The Axis of Evil"


I have more loves and hates, but thats all I can think of right now

Blogs are like vacuum cleaners: everyone has one, and all of 'em suck

ok I know that is not an original, but it fits

Before we go any farther, I should give all of you some background info on me. I am a New Yorker with Midwestern roots, but no desire to go back anytime soon. I work as an investment banking associate, and bartend part-time. Just broke up with a girlfriend of 6 months or so, well, lets be honest: she broke up with me. Lets call her Ana. (by the way, all of the names in my blog have been changed to protect the innocent) To be honest, my relationship with Ana was one of those relationships that was over in my head long before it was over for real so I can't say that I was that heartbroken. Plus I never stopped having sex with an F.W.B. that I met before i met Ana, so maybe I had it coming.

I met both Ana and Annie (my FWB) at one of the bars that I work at. You would be amazed how attracted women are to bartenders. Maybe it has to do with the fact that you provide the alcohol? who knows. And if you know a few bar tricks? fuggetaboutit. Not complaining, just don't understand it.

Anyway, back to Ana. She is from the Czech Republic and she is a very strange bird. The she was good in the sack, and she was very liberal with her compliments of me, and I have a feeling those might be the only two reasons I liked her. Who doesn't like a good lay and ego stroking right? But then she got both flaky and needy, a very weird combination right? Well she would cancel plans from time to time for mysterious reasons, while at the same time complain that we weren't seeing enough of each other during the week. If you know anything about I-Banking hours, then you probably know that they are not good for relationships.

Annie on the other hand, is a teacher in Jersey, so we knew going in that we would only be able to see each other a couple times a month. We both agreed that we didn't want to get involved in a serious relationship, so in a way it worked out perfectly. Her personality is very strange. She always seems uncomfortable for some reason. I don't think she is as comfortable in her own skin as most women I come in contact with, and thats one reason why I haven't really wanted our interaction to advance beyond the FWB stage.

My First Post Ever!!


ok so this is my first post, so you'll have to excuse me if this sucks. I waste a great portion of my life reading blogs of all kinds, and I have determined that I can blog (is that a verb now?) as well as any of those other bloggers. As the title says, this will be my outlet for whatever is on my mind at the time.

I am a big sports fan, and I follow dozens of sports blogs, so there is a chance that much of the content here will be sports-related. I am a single guy in the city, so I would guess that a portion of my ramblings will be in regards to my dating misadventures. I bartend part-time, so there will probably be some anecdotes about what goes on at my bar.

I can't promise it will be good, funny, or interesting to you. All I can say is that I will be honest, and I will try to post as often as I can (untill I get bored of this whole blogging thing).

So with that said, I hope that you will join me, and waste time reading what I waste time writing!